Fads come and go, but some should just go

Chad Filley
Chad Filley

Chad Filley
Guest Columnist

Most fads come and go, but many of today’s fads should just go. Whatever happened to the days of Coon Skin Caps, Break Dancing, and the Mullets? This year has spawned some ridiculous trends and after analysis, I’ve decided I must comment on some that simply need to disappear.

1. The overuse of cell phones by today’s youth. They use their 4G phones to text one another, watch videos, look up things on the internet … the list could go on forever, but there’s one thing they don’t use them for … to talk to someone. Don’t believe me, try calling a teen. They won’t answer. But they’ll gladly text you back to inform you that talking on the phone went out of fashion about the same time as bell bottoms.

2. Saying YOLO needs to go. It stands for You Only Live Once. It’s supposed to motivate people to start fulfilling one’s bucket list, but I think it should be stopped because it sounds stupid and it’s probably offensive to all of those that believe they are reincarnated from 17th Century Prussian Warlords.

3. Skinny Jeans and Gangsta Pants. Girls (and guys) very few people look good in skinny jeans so let them go the way of the colored corduroy jeans and straight to rummage sale. As far as Gangsta Pants (the one’s worn so low that the guy’s boxer shorts are showing), you just look stupid trying to walk. As a matter of fact, when you walk you look like a toddler who just filled his Huggies. Here’s one for the evolutionists: If this trend continues with males wearing their pants down lower and lower each generation, then I wonder if the male species will eventually evolve into creatures with three inch legs?

4. Endless coverage of celebrity relationships should stop. I’m sorry that Seal was scarred when Heidi Klum cheated on him, but I really don’t need to hear about it. And who really cares that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian had a child and named it North West. I don’t want to hear about Ms. Kardashian again until she is crowned Mother-of-the-Year. That should solve that problem. I wish we could just save the hard-hitting celebrity news for worthwhile stories like Little Honey Boo Boo and the Octomom.

5. I hate when people have to announce to the world that they are gluten-free. With that said, “I am gluten-free.”  Not by choice but because I have celiac disease (which makes me gluten intolerant). On the one hand, I’m glad that multitudes are going gluten-free because it has allowed many more dining options for me, but on the other hand, I hate it when someone arrogantly pronounces that they are gluten free in the same tone one would use to explain “I saved 100 box tops and donated them to end seal clubbing in Nova Scotia.” Just because someone cooks with rice flour it doesn’t mean they are saving the life of a sheaf of wheat.

There are plenty of other fads that could easily have made my list including dubstep music, fake nonprescription glasses, the honey badger, and zombies, but I need something to write about next time.

Chad Filley is a local comedian. More information on his events can be found at www.chadfilley.com.