Every family has its legendary stories

Chad Filley
Guest Writer

Every family comes complete with its own series of stories. Some are funny, some are sad, but it’s these stories that become part of each family’s folklore.

Take me out to the ball game

It was the summer before (my oldest son) Trent entered third grade and he was playing in a baseball league where the kids pitched to one another for the first time. During the whole season they divided the kids up and played against their classmates until the final game of the season, when they played against another town’s Squirt team. The game was a huge deal to the kids and it was all Trent talked about that summer.

I had been working a summer job so I ended up getting to the game a half-hour late. By the time I arrived Trent’s team was in the field and the score was 19-0. I didn’t dare ask anyone who was ahead, but it quickly became obvious when the other team’s batter hit a double knocking in two more runs increasing the lead to 21-0. After numerous batters and several more runs, Trent’s team finally got the elusive third out.

Every parent wants their child’s life to be disappointment-free but there was no sugar coating this one. The poor kid was going to be heartbroken losing the “big game.”

As he approached the bench I walked over to him, swallowed hard, and tried offering words of encouragement. “I’m sorry you guys are losing, but you can’t win every time.”

He frowned at me. “We’re not losing. We haven’t even batted yet.”

 

Walking home from open gym

A couple of years later Trent and I were walking home from an open gym which always ended up with us having a “Courtship of Eddie’s Father” conversation.

Trent looked at me and asked, “If I have a son and named him Trent then he’d be Trent Junior, right?”

I nodded.

“Then if he had a son and named him Trent then he’d be Trent Sophomore, and if his son did the same then he would be Trent Freshman.”

I smiled and before I could answer he asked, “But I don’t understand what happens if Trent Freshman names his son Trent. Would they name him Trent Eighth grader?”

 

Always look in the dryer

One rainy day my wife, Jane, wanted to throw a wet towel in the dryer that she had used to wipe off the dogs after a drenching walk. The dryer door was open so she threw the towel in, shut the door, and pushed the on button. As she walked away she heard a clunking noise. She assumed the noise was someone’s wet shoes in the dryer, but she went back to check just in case.

Luckily for our 18-year-old cat Lana, she did check. As she opened the door the dizzy feline meowed in disgust and hopped out of the dryer. No easy task for this cat whose health could be best described as the equivalent of Nancy Reagan in her last years.

Lana glared at my wife while walking away with what little bit of dignity she had left. The poor thing had hopped in the dryer to warm up and ended up getting a ride in a sadistic tilt-a-whirl.

Ever since then, my wife always checks the dryer before shutting the door. As a matter of fact, in the name of preventative medicine, she also checks the microwave oven, too.

Chad Filley is a stand up comedian from East Central Minnesota. You can see a listing of his upcoming shows on his website, www.chadfilley.com.

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