Woman reflects on her recovery
This letter comes to us from a Dellwood Treatment/Recovery Center graduate. As summer arrives, young and old, are celebrating graduations, holidays, and just the lazy, hazy, crazy days of Summer in Minnesota. These celebrations usually include alcohol.
As I prepare to go before the Hon. Judge Dehn on June 16, 2011, as part of his “staggered sentence” program, I came across this letter. This “Goodbye Letter to Alcohol” was part of my treatment program at Dellwood.
I have decided to share this letter with others who may be struggling with alcohol and other addictions that are controlling your lives. My hope and prayer is that this letter “Goodbye to Alcohol” will speak to you and be a blessing to you.
I’ve put off this letter for many years but now I feel the need and the strength to write to you. Over the years we’ve become very close. When we first met we had so much fun together. We laughed and giggled and acted like a couple of kids. I would and could go places and do things without you, but it was never as much fun as doing it “with” you. The more time we spent together the more time I wanted to spend “with” you. YES, I fell in LOVE with you! You were there when I was happy and you were there when I was sad. You never let me down. I grew to depend on you for my enjoyment. I didn’t think I could live without you, and I know I didn’t want to. However, sometime during our relationship things started to change. I felt you were starting to take control of me. Well, I didn’t like being controlled, so I tried to pull back. The more I didn’t want you, it seemed like the more you wanted me. Well as you know I made a deal with you. I said, “ok, I’ll hang out with you for now”, even though I think, ‘no.’ I know we’re spending too much time together. But, I’ll tell you what, “Once I get married, settle down and have a family, I won’t be able to see much of you.” As you know, you agreed to that. I remember the evil look in your eyes and the cunning smile on your face. It was almost like you knew something that I didn’t. Well, as agreed upon, at the age of 31, I fell in love, got married and had 3 beautiful sons. You were pretty cool about it. You visited now and then, but you let me have lots of wonderful time with me family. However, you were always reminding me that if I ever wanted more time with you, or felt lonely with my family, you would be there for me. I often knew you were watching me, waiting for me to need you. You would not give up. You started coming around again more and more. I told you to get away and stay out of my life. You refused. Whenever you are with me bad things happen. My family refuses to be a part of my life. I feel so bad about myself. It is now time for me to choose between you and death…I CHOOSE LIFE! Goodbye!
Isanti County Resident